Adult Conversation Topic: It is often said that today’s men are weak. Whose responsible for weak men? The absentee father or domineering mother?
by Doug Banks Radio Show
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Its the parents whether its the mother or father. if you teach a young man how to respect others ,be responsible for his actions and to step up to the plate (not food. lol) then 80% of the time he’ll become a strong man
The absentee father and domineering mother. The father for not being there to lead by example to teach the man how to take care of his family, take care of his children without living in the same household and how to deal with the adversities that men face daily. The mother for not teaching the man what type of woman he should have by respecting herself and leading by example, not teaching him responsibility to be able to support himself financially, physically and emotionally (not depending on a woman). A woman may not be able to teach him HOW to be a man but through her example of respectability, hardwork (having a job) and time she can teach him what’s important to live: education, career, respect for self and others and responsibility for taking care of a family. If a man has that but chooses otherwise, he has failed himself and the fatherless children he has.
I witness todays mothers trying to give thier boys everything. Not earning anything. The boys have all the latest appreal and gold teeth.
The answer is two-fold:
1) The absentee father is not around to properly raise his boy into a man. Furthermore, is this supposed father a man himself or some young thug posing as a psuedo father who can only teach his young boy “how to get money”… The “get money” syndrome plays a huge part when you say these young boys have no value system and thus appear to be weak to society.
2) Mothers are rewarding bad behavior from their little boys. Kid brings home bad grades, but still get a pair of True Religion jeans and new Jordans. Kid gets arrested for narcotics, carry a pistol, battery, etc.., Mom bails him out. Kid smokes weed and parties til the break of dawn in Mom’s house, Mom joins in and asks where is my beer and vodka?
What part of the game is this? Both parents are responsible for raising a boy into a man. There is no accountability in the home or the black community at large anymore.
Last two books: “Black Women See Your Hand In The Demise Of The American Black Family!”
“You Don’t Have To Date A Sorry Ass Black Man If You Stop Raising Them To Be!”
Ms. Cecilia was CORRECT! Ownership is for us (Black Women) to take! Black Man is the most “vilified” being on the PLANET! We should be ashamed as we take NO ACCOUNTABILITY!
Peace
Dee W.
I don’t agree that the woman should take total responsibility for the man being weak. The point we as society are missing is that it takes a man to raise a boy into a man NOT THE MOTHER!!!! The only thing I can agree on is that it is up to a woman to respect herself. But what happens when you do respect yourself and there are no more descent men left? What happens when you do all the right things, you go to church, your supposed husband or man decides he wants to be a player, cheats and leaves you with the kids and then does not want to take repsonsibility by being a father? Why is it the woman’s fault then?
I resent the fact that a woman with 7 children called in and blames it all on the woman. It is not entirely a woman’s fault. That may be the reason she has 7 kids and no man because she allows that but that is not the case with all single moms. However in my case, I have four. I have been paying child support for two of my kids for ten years and their dad prevented me from being in my children’s lives. I also have two from a current relationship in which I was married and now divorced. Their dad refuses to pay child support. I know that my children need support so I don’t complain about paying for support but the system does not care that my youngest get support as they don’t enforce their father to pay, nor do they enforce me getting visitataion with my older kids even though I am paying. I blame the fact at the upbringing of the fathers. If he does not value the importance of his role as a parent he will be absent. In the case of my older kids father he just wants the money for himself and does not really care about my kids. I notice that this is mainly a problem with blacks and not other races. We should be able to be civil and do what’s right for the kids as it is not about us. Regardless if the man hates the mother or vice versa, he should not take it out on the child and not be ther. God will bless the bond with the parent and child. Also it is his duty to be there as that is a biblical principal, in fact both parents are suppose to be there for the child. I only wish I waited on God back then.
I feel like sometimes women spend so much time being hurt or mad and worrying about what the father is doin and vice versa that everyone is forgetting about the child jus remember rather your in the house or not that boy needs to feel that fathers presence. It takes a village
Doug,
It’s a cycle. The girls are sleeping with boys without regard for their character because the girls are missing fathers from their lives as well.
Absent father’s are hurting us all.
Bonnie