Dear Doug Letter: Unhappy in my Home

by Doug Banks Radio Show

Dear Doug,

I believe I fell out of love with my husband!  After only two years of marriage I no longer want to be married to him!  We met three years ago at church.  He was attractive, smart with a GREAT job, well educated and by my standards on the fast track to success.  I am an accomplished female as well.  I am the Director of a private charter school, with a masters in education.  Right before we married, my husband moved into MY home and we settled into the beginning of our life together.  One month before our wedding, my husband lost his job and hasn’t worked since!  He has now become a “House Husband”.  He cooks, cleans and plays golf ALL day!  We have no children and there is no reason why he hasn’t found work yet.  I am finding it very difficult to respect him. I feel that my husband is living off of me and using me. Since I am sooo unhappy and no longer respect him, should I divorce him?

Unhappy in my Home

Doug Banks Radio Show


  1. Kim S
    03 February 12, 4:24pm

    I think she should stick it out. I didn’t get the impression he was lazy from the letter – after all she said he does cook and clean which tells me he is taking care of the home while she works. Really, I think she is not comfortable with the role reversal that has occurred in their relationship – him being the “house husband” and her taking on the role as the primary bread winner. If she bails now, I think she was in it for the wrong reasons to begin with.

  2. NatFrankie
    03 February 12, 4:27pm

    counseling is the key. Professional counseling, with someone who can help you two learn to communicate honestly and openly with each other. Unfortunately, right now, you have not been honest and open with your feelings, based on this letter. If you were serious about your marriage, then you owe it to each other to exhaust any possibility of working things out before divorcing…and if you can’t work it out, then you can end it knowing you gave it your all.

  3. Stephanie
    03 February 12, 4:28pm

    First of all when we get married in the vows it say for better or for worse. Look at this situation as if the shoe was on the other foot. What if you had lost your job and was just spending his money shopping and do the housework. How would you feel he felt like you were living off of him? Also if you have such an issue with what he is doing sit down and talk to him if you do not like what you hear then do what you have to do and move on. Life is short.

  4. jackie
    03 February 12, 4:29pm

    Well u need to address that to him and let him know and see what he is really on ! If he is not looking for employment that means he feel why should he , you all are married and you all are one and suppose to take care of each other. When one is down !it should be on the same page , he should find a job to a job to help support the household but he only doing what he is allowed to do! It is not fair and he knows that ! Well give him an chose find a job or it is over if you don’t repect our marriage then it shouldn’t be !

  5. 03 February 12, 5:00pm

    when things don’t go to plan,then people want to bail.they want a do over because now things have changed.they said for better or worse,in good health or bad & until death do us part.

  6. Cassandra
    03 February 12, 5:20pm

    This letter is sort of hard to answer because she left out a lot of information. How he lost his job, has he been trying to find one, had she communicated with him and how has he responded. It seems as though he is not looking if he’s playing golf all day everyday because most of the time even 9 holes of golf takes up most of the day, can’t imagine if he’s playing 18 holes. I thinks she needs to let him know how she feels and give him an ultimatum.

  7. 09 July 12, 7:59am

    Wow, usually good to find out other persons through the hole world in my searching, I truly appreciate the time it must have taken to set together this cool site. kind regards

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