Dear Doug Letter: Woman Finds Husband Cheating Online

 

Dear Doug,

Two days ago, purely by accident, I found out my husband was a member of an online sex and swinger service.  I unintentionally opened his e-mail, thinking the computer was logged on to my name, not his.  After a minute or two of deliberation, I used the password to log on to the site to see what he was doing.  I almost threw up when I read his profile and found he was actively seeking women and couples for extramarital sex.

Yesterday, I became a member of the site, set up a fake profile, and contacted him.  I think I was hoping he signed up as some kind of joke at work to see who would get the most replies or something.  Today I got his reply.  He wants to get to know me better and see pictures.

I want to play this out and see how far he takes this. We’ve been together for eight years, married for six, and have two very young children.  I never even thought of him cheating on me before this.  What do I do? If I continue on with the “sting” and he follows through, I’ll be devastated. But if I call him on it now, I may never just how deep the deception runs.  Either way I already feel betrayed and cheated on.