Dear Doug Letters
Dear Doug,
My daddy is dying and I don’t give a damn!
My father has been estranged from my life for 35 of my 39 years. He reached out to me in my last few years of college and we established a relationship that I thought would blossom and grow into my adulthood.
Soon after college he stopped returning calls. I would only hear from him if I reached out and conversation wasn’t enough to bud the relationship. So eventually I gave up on the idea. Last year, I felt like I wanted to try again.
Needless to say he said some things to me that a “father” shouldn’t ever say to their child, especially if they really don’t know them. His wife has contacted me recently to inform me he has been in the hospital and is headed to nursing home. Much to my dismay, I had no emotion, no pity and wasn’t sorrowful for him at all. She asked me to come and see him because she doesn’t think he will be with us much longer.
I don’t care to go and I don’t have any feelings for him. At this point, I’m wondering, am I a monster? Should I feel wrong for feeling nothing for a man who has abandoned me more than once? Please help.
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Wow,
This sounds like a letter that I would write. My life story with my d.a.d. is very similar. I kinda fell the same way.
I don’t think you’re a monster, and I probably wouldn’t rush to go see him. I would do my daily activities first; go to the grocery store, cleaners, bank, etc. As well as the things that have been important in my life because like you, I too have an estranged relationship with my dad. And it would go the same way with me, it would be his wife or my aunts calling, definitely not him!!!
Pray about it and follow the Lord on this one. If you’re ok and your spirit is free of guilt, do what’s best for you.
My daddy denied me until I was 33 years old he and I hated him all those years but my mother passed and he was all I had left so I went to him we talked and about two years later he died but I am so thankful that I had enough since to let go of the hate I had for him before he past if I had not I would have to live with that regret please done hurt yourself anymore let it go forgive