Dear Doug Letters
My daddy is dying and I don’t give a damn!
My father has been estranged from my life for 35 of my 39 years. He reached out to me in my last few years of college and we established a relationship that I thought would blossom and grow into my adulthood.
Soon after college he stopped returning calls. I would only hear from him if I reached out and conversation wasn’t enough to bud the relationship. So eventually I gave up on the idea. Last year, I felt like I wanted to try again.
Needless to say he said some things to me that a “father” shouldn’t ever say to their child, especially if they really don’t know them. His wife has contacted me recently to inform me he has been in the hospital and is headed to nursing home. Much to my dismay, I had no emotion, no pity and wasn’t sorrowful for him at all. She asked me to come and see him because she doesn’t think he will be with us much longer.
I don’t care to go and I don’t have any feelings for him. At this point, I’m wondering, am I a monster? Should I feel wrong for feeling nothing for a man who has abandoned me more than once? Please help.