Dear Doug Letters
by Doug Banks Radio Show
Dear Doug,
My husband is having an affair and I know it! Two months ago I had a feeling something was going on with my husband. Call it a woman’s intuition, but I KNOW MY husband and his ways. We have been together for over ten years and married seven. We have two beautiful children, own our home and take regular vacations. Most would call my life “ideal”.
We both are successful in our careers and have been relatively happy (so I thought) throughout most of our marriage. The last couple of months he began acting funny, coming home late and snapping at both me and the children. Well, after much research I found out my husband was having an affair. He’s been seeing the bartender at a certain well known establishment that he and I BOTH frequent from time to time.
The problem is, I SHOULD be irate, angry and beside my self, but I’m not. My husband doesn’t know that I know. I haven’t told anyone because I don’t want people in my business. I really don’t know what to do, all I know is I do not want to give up the lifestyle I am accustomed to. Doug, am I crazy for not being upset and confronting him and tearing apart my family. Can anybody in your audience relate to what I’m going through?
Please Help!
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I do not think she wants or needs advice from anyone. Seems to me she made her decision. No need to speak on a situation that she does not want to change. As she stated, she is accustom to their lifestyle, and I guess that means she is willing to do anything to keep it. Even if it means sharing it with another woman.
Responding to the letter about the cheating husband. 1st if you are asking if you’re crazy for accepting the infidelty. Then you already know you are nuts and you’re using the children and “lifestyle” as an excuse to stay in it. You’ve confronted the woman do what know? That was going to scare her into not sleeping with your husband. I think you have lost yourself and way through out the course of your marriage. Stop allowing you husband to use you as a doormat! Demand and gain your respect back.
I don’t think she’s crazy. Just confused and scared. No she don’t play No ones fool.she needs to confront him. And put the ball back in your court. You take control. If he can’t comply, their a life after him.lay your head down now that you did not break your vow
Yes she is crazy! She says that she doesnt want to break up the family or interrupt her lifestyle but it may happen anyway and it won’t be her choice it will he his!. What is her husband decides that he wants to be with this other women and decides to leave her and the kids high and dry. She could come home one day and find that he’s packed up and left! It happens all the time! Why not take control of the situation now instead of allowing him to make all the decisions.
Doug, I don’t think she is crazy. I completely understand what she is going through. Her husband is probably going through the 7 itch. If you love this man and he is your soulmate you should approach him and see what he is missing in your relationship to determine if the marriage is salvageable. I went through the same thing 13 yrs ago with my husband. I new something was going on with himand it was eating at him so badly he confessed to me. I new that I loved this man and he loved me and I realized his actions were not done with the blatent intent to hurt me but for his own selfish desires. We also had 2 young children and were and still are successful in our careers and were and are homeowners. Needless to say we worked through it and have enjoyed the last 10 yrs together and will be celebrating our 19th anniversary this year and 21 years together.